Dear Becky

Most of us are familiar with Dear Abby. If you’re not, she was a very popular Advice Columnist. People would write to her, asking advice about all sorts of problems. They always used some great anonymous name like, “Crazy in Love” or “Anxious in San Antonio”.
God’s word is full of great counsel and wisdom. He also gave me a way of seeing things that may be difficult to see from inside a situation. When the two are combined, people can be greatly blessed.

A few things you may want to know before you ask my advice…
1) My advice is always based on scripture. I believe we should surrender our right, to be right, in order to be right, with God.
2) My honesty may be seen as brutal to some people. You will be told what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. Hopefully it will be said in a love sandwich, (nice words- truth- nice words).

This is not to sit in judgment of anyone as if I have it all figured out. I don’t think any counselor ever gives counsel with that intention. The belief is that Satan often slips in our lives through lies that need to be exposed. With a calling to expose His lies and see them clearly, I only wish to give the Father Glory by helping others understand their purpose as His children.


  1. Dear Becky,
    I always thought the Holy Spirit was supposed to convict me of my sin. And I always thought I knew what conviction felt like…this rotten stomach ache that just eats you up until you correct your mistake. I figured that feeling would make me not want to sin. But, lately I have entered into some activities with my boyfriend that I know are sinful, but honestly, I don’t feel bad about it. Is my connection with the Holy Spirit broken? Do I have a wrong idea of how conviction works? I know the obvious answer is “stop sinning, our emotions can be misleading.” But if I’m never going to feel bad about sinning, it sure makes it a lot easier to walk into. I honestly look forward to your hard hitting, blunt answer. Maybe it will be just the kind of conviction I need.

    – In Need of Conviction

    1. First of all I want to thank you for trusting me with your question and opening yourself up to correction. That is a great step in the right direction. I want to address the belief that the Holy Spirit “convicts” us. This is a very common teaching. The only place I see the Holy Spirit and conviction together is 1st Thessalonians –“4 For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6 You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.”
      The guilty are convicted. When the Power of the Holy Spirit came upon the Thessalonians (while they were not believers), it brought conviction. That led to repentance, salvation and they became a model for all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. Our Salvation was sealed with the blood of Christ and therefore we are now found “Not Guilty”. Not because of our innocence but because of the innocence of Christ.
      What I do see over and over again in the scriptures is the Holy Spirit giving us (believers) life, help, understanding, wisdom, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. He also intercedes on our behalf. He is here for us when we ask Him to intercede, give us strength and self- control, etc. He will not make that choice for us, that would remove our free will and we must choose what is right.
      Paul was very clear about the struggle between the Spirit and the Flesh in Romans 7. We all struggle and that is normal. The problem comes when we stop struggling and freely indulge in sin. Then it is time for a heart check. Are you taking God’s grace for granted? Are you making this boyfriend your god by becoming one flesh with him at the expense of grieving the Holy Spirit? Do you realize that when Jesus endured being beaten with a cat of 9 tails, which ripped the flesh off his back, that this very sin was covered? He loves you that much; however Christ said “if we loved him we would obey him.” These are things to ponder between you and God because only He can reveal to you what is really going on within.
      Let me close by telling you I have been there many times. I was given great advice many years ago which I will pass to you. If you don’t feel bad about committing a certain sin, ask God to allow you to feel His pain. Ask His Spirit to reveal the ugliness in something that seems so beautiful right now. God can’t be first if in your life or heart while sin reigns. Will you attempt to master evil or resign to let it master you. I sound like Yoda… haha
      God Bless,

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