The saying “Let go and let God” has been around for a while. I have said it many times but not until now have I really decided to live it out. My life is truly in a transitional period and I do not know what waits on the other side. My prayer is that with each passing trial, my faith will not fail. My desire is to continue to transform into the woman God created me to be.

As someone who was a single mom most of her life, beginning at fifteen years old and with two divorces under my belt, I can honestly say that trusting God was not something I practiced. My children came first, and I spoke to that fact aloud and often. The concept of letting a man lead my home and family was laughable. I thought I was self-sufficient as leader, provider, a mother and a father. However, if I am self-sufficient, where does God come in? If I am working too many jobs to watch over and truly protect my children from this fallen world, am I really putting them first? If I am making choices that show my children the opposite of what I say or what God says, what am I teaching them?

I said my children came first but really, I was only placing them before God. If I really wanted their best, I would have put God first. I would have lived a life that honored God and protected them from my own hypocrisy.  My oldest three children are grown now and have their own choices to make. I can take responsibility for the choices I made that negatively affected their growth and development, both emotional and spiritual. And I do, believe me I do. I cannot however allow my regret to turn back to shame and thus render me ineffective for God’s purpose for my life. I also cannot take responsibility for the choices that they are making.  If I do, why would they take ownership and how would they grow? So I must let go, cover them in prayer and let God lead them as He has me.

I am also learning to let my husband be who God created him to be, my leader.  I am a leader with the women at church, an administrator at work and it was no different in my home. But God has not asked me to be the head of my home, which is my husband’s calling. I need to trust God by trusting my husband and I am not going to lie; it isn’t easy and I don’t necessarily like it. How I feel however, is not the issue. My feelings may fluctuate but my heart will not.  It is what I choose to do while under pressure that will reveal what I am made of. So I will let go of trying to be something God never asked me to be. I will let God mold me into the daughter, mother and wife He is asking me to be.

As a result of obedience, God’s strength overshadows my weakness. Although my life may be storming all around me, I have an unexplainable peace in the eye of the storm. As fears and anxiety rise, I feel His hand draw me closer to Him. As the enemy’s troops shoot flaming arrows and hurl painful insults, my God protects me. As darkness chases me, the light of Jesus drowns it all out. Are you in the midst of a trial, a time of refining or just under attack? Let go and let God.  He is all we need.